Sesshoumaru is really a
by Tsubasa Kya
Summary: Kagome couldn't believe it was true even though she saw it with her own eyes, but if she told anyone she also had no doubt Sesshoumaru would keep his word and kill her. How the heck did Inuyasha NOT notice this very obvious fact? A SessKag Parody.
1. Part one

**Title: Sesshoumaru is really a...  
**Author: Tsubasa Kya  
_Disclaimer: I do not own "Inuyasha" or its subsequent universe. _

_This story takes place BEFORE Shippou finds his way into Kagome and Inuyasha's camp.

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Inuyasha's Sister

That just wasn't right. How dare Kagome pose the very thought? Kagome might think she knew everything, but really, who was Kagome anyway?

"Kagome, yo, what did you just say?" Inuyasha just had to verify it…to be sure.

Kagome looked up from the pot of ramen she was stirring. Mm, breakfast ramen. "Oh, I was just asking if you think your brother looks like a girl, that's all. It's been on my mind since we met him."

It was just the two of them. She did have to wonder if they would ever encounter anyone else. She didn't like Inuyasha all that much, considering he had tried to kill her and his brother did the same, but he did promise to protect her for all her life.

"My brother… looks like a girl?" Inuyasha choked on the idea. Really, the girl was a pest, bringing up stupid ideas like that. Sure, Sesshoumaru looked pretty feminine, but his chest was flat and he had a very low, fairly masculine voice.

He wasn't a girl.

"Duh! You don't have to repeat it like a moron." Kagome said snappishly. "And I was just wondering anyway! Thinking out loud."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't think, 'cause you don't know how!" Inuyasha yelled at her.

"You know what?" Kagome snatched up the tiny bag of jewel shards and kicked the pot of boiling ramen so it spilled into the fire. It didn't matter… he didn't like it that much anyway. "I'm going home." She walked off in (he assumed) the direction she thought the well was in. Too bad that was the wrong way.

"Good riddance! Stay there, if you ever get there! I'll get the jewel on my own and come after yours when I've got 'em all!" Inuyasha yelled at her back.

Meanwhile, Kagome had stormed off like an idiot. Sometime after walking for thirty minutes, she realized her feet hurt fairly bad due to walking over pine cones and other miscellaneous forest foliage on the hard wooded ground. She nearly tripped on a fallen tree which she miraculously had not seen.

After almost an hour, she realized she didn't take anything except the jewel shards. Of course, that was rather unhealthy for her as she found in moments that she had no idea where the heck she was and didn't the jewel shards attract demons?

Well, either way, her thoughts were still centered around Sesshoumaru for some reason. It did not seem as implausible to her that Sesshoumaru could actually be a 'she'. He seemed to be very tall and shared a beauty that rivaled the gods.

"Not to mention those beautiful golden eyes and long, incredibly feminine lashes!" Kagome giggled. "And his eyebrows? Perfect arches. I know girls who would kill for those eyebrows alone!" Kagome wasn't sure who she was talking to. Perhaps it was just to fill the silence. Perhaps it was to alleviate her stress over the fact that night was approaching and she was lost.

Who knew?

"And his figure seems more effeminate!" Kagome tripped on a rock and squeaked. "Ouch!" Said rock got in her shoe, meaning it wasn't much more than a pebble. She sat up to deal with it. "But he wore that bone armor and that—oh goodness," she stopped fiddling with her shoe for two seconds to think.

"That fluffy fur boa!" Kagome was sent into another fit of giggles. "Now if that isn't feminine, I don't know what is!" she finished with her shoe and stood again, brushing herself off, swinging the bag of shards haphazardly as she went along.

"And that hair!" Kagome almost squealed in delight at the very thought of herself having such long, beautiful hair. "How totally unfair!"

KERSPLASH!

If Kagome had been paying attention, she would have noticed the deep stream ahead. The cold water carried her downstream and dumped her over a short waterfall into a deep pool of water.

When she surfaced, she gasped for breath. Out of sheer habit, she screamed. After all, it was what a girl did when faced with an unknown danger of the sort that fell under the category of "evil stream carrying person downstream over a possibly dangerous waterfall into a perfectly heated hotspring".

She figured the warm geyser or whatever it was that heated the water must have been offset enough by the cool spring to create such a nice temperature.

Unfortunately, she had the unhappy privilege of courting possible death.

Standing up in the water closer to shore was Sesshoumaru, his back to her, up to his waist in water. He was looking at her with his head half turned. She tread water for a moment before realizing she had stopped screaming and immediately started up again.

"Inuyasha! Inuyashaaaa! Inu-ya-shaaaaaaa!"

In an instant, Sesshoumaru ducked down into the water and swam like a bullet toward her, gold eyes no longer a normal cold glare but rather more panicked than anything. She felt him grab her and cover her mouth. She nearly lost her water-treading balance at the same time.

"Stop it!" Sesshoumaru demanded in that deep voice.

She stopped. She didn't know why, but she did. Eventually her mind caught up with her eyes, and she saw his chest as he moved away from her, seemingly assured she would not scream anymore.

"Oh my god, you really _are_ a girl!" Kagome breathed, her soaked bangs falling into her eyes.

"Do not call for Inuyasha. I will spare your life if he never finds out." Sesshoumaru stated.

Kagome blinked. Then she dipped her head under the water and resurfaced. For some reason, seeing the murderous Sesshoumaru with a bosom made him (her?) a lot less scary.

When she surfaced, she smoothed her hair back at the same time and returned to water-treading. Sesshoumaru was getting out. And he was most definitely a she. "Dear heavens, Inuyasha would never believe me anyway," Kagome muttered before deciding getting out was her best option as well.

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**ONLY TK HAS THE GUTS TO CHALLENGE THE MASSES OF WORLD-WIDE SESSHOUMARU FAN-DOM (to which she consequentially belongs). WAHAHA! (please do not attempt this at home as it may result in severe injury or death)**


	2. Part two

**Title: Sesshoumaru is really a...  
**Author: Tsubasa Kya  
_Disclaimer: I do not own "Inuyasha" or its subsequent universe. _

_I had so much trouble keeping myself thinking of Sesshoumaru as a girl. I kept putting "He" instead of "She". So I just left most of them! This is so much fun to write! Finally I have a story that doesn't involve tragedy or terrible amounts of angst and I can sit here and wail in amusement! Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Please review again!

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Inuyasha's Sister

Kagome walked over to Sesshoumaru, watching with curiously pursed lips as Sesshoumaru bound his…her chest with difficulty due to an extremely missing arm. It went to show how good a swimmer he, ah… she was that she could be armless and still swim.

But there Kagome was, staring at a naked woman. Dear heavens was Kagome _gay_? "Um, do you need help?" Kagome asked as Sesshoumaru failed to bind his chest a third time. And what the heck did Kagome think helping a guy who tried to kill her would do? A girl…who tried to kill her…

That was just going to drive her mad. Finally when Sesshoumaru remained silent, Kagome jumped backwards, her tennis shoes squelching with water. "Hey! Mister!" Kagome's eyes crossed as she received an annoyed look from Sesshoumaru. "Uh, mistress? Damn it, what the hell are you? And why do you pretend you're a boy!"

Sesshoumaru raised one very annoyed eyebrow at Kagome, as the eyebrow of course seemed to have a mind of its own and could be annoyed apart from its wearer. He stopped bothering to bind his… HER! Gosh dang it, Sesshoumaru was a her, those were boobs and they were fairly large, and how the hell did Inuyasha grow up not knowing Sesshoumaru was a freaking girl?

_She_ turned to Kagome and said in that very oddly masculine voice, "I really am a girl. You're looking at me, standing here in front of you, and I am naked. If you don't mind, I need to bind my breasts and get dressed preferably before Inuyasha shows up to find out that I am a girl."

"Oh, right." Kagome had almost forgotten her screaming for Inuyasha. She approached Sesshoumaru. Kagome took the bandage and helped Sesshoumaru wrap the bandage to bind _her_ breasts. "I feel like such a ditz now," Kagome admitted.

Sesshoumaru said, "You are a ditz. It should be no new news."

Kagome glared at the clearly female Sesshoumaru. She cinched the bandage tighter than necessary and the demon(ess) winced. Kagome tied the piece in place and found only the smallest lumps showed, which once Sesshoumaru got dressed in her slightly baggy clothes, were convincingly covered so her chest looked flat.

And last to go was the armor, the sword, and the big fluffy fur pelt. Sesshoumaru was going to walk away and leave Kagome shivering there, but Kagome being the nosy girl she was decided to jump in the way of the long, wet haired demon…ess…

"Hold it right there, buster!" she told him. "I mean…" her eyes crossed again as she tried to think of what the heck the female version of a 'buster' was and decided on, "Busteress! Yes, you owe me some answers! You're a girl, yet you prance around with 'maru' tacked on your name. You're a girl, but you got this really deep voice. You're a girl, but you are pretending to be a guy! Answer me!"

"You have not asked a question," Sesshoumaru pointed out.

Kagome thought for a moment. "Huh, you're right." She sighed, but within seconds decided she didn't care at all if she was cold, so long as she got her answers. "Okay then!" she opened her mouth to talk to Sesshoumaru and actually answer questions this time when Sesshoumaru advanced on her.

He looked so menacing, she had many thoughts of 'oh my god, I'm going to die' flitting through her head. And then, Sesshoumaru was right in front of her, looming over her. Okay, not _he_ looked menacing… She did. She! Why was that so hard to remember? Perhaps because her first impression was that he was a guy?

Her clawed hand held Kagome's chin and tilted Kagome's face upward. Sesshoumaru looked deep into Kagome's eyes, those golden orbs almost on fire with amusement. Then Kagome found she was being kissed. She shrieked and fell backward onto her rear.

"My first kiss!" she sobbed. "My first kiss was supposed to be from someone I love and now it's not there anymore and some guy who looks like a girl because he really is a girl took my first kiss and…" she cried.

Sesshoumaru barked out laughter and said, "You humans are funny."

Kagome instantly stopped crying to glare at Sesshoumaru. She rose to her feet and poked his armor (much to the dismay of her abused finger). "You!" she managed a pretty impressive growl for a human. "You stole my first kiss! Why'd you do it?"

Sesshoumaru looked incredibly unperturbed. "I felt like it." She said. She leaned down and licked Kagome's cheek, and Kagome jumped backward in shock. "You want your answers?" Kagome wasn't sure she wanted them now. "I'll give you one answer the next time you meet me alone. That is… if you're ready."

Sesshoumaru started walking away but paused and looked back at Kagome. "By the way," Sesshoumaru smirked. "Women attract me…for some reason…Who knows _what_ I might do to you next time we meet." Kagome screamed and ran as fast as her legs would carry her. He really was evil!

And as she ran, she screamed the whole way.

Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru twirled a bag of jewel shards on one clawed finger, humming tunelessly. With no annoying nag named Jaken around, she had no reason to remain quiet. She tucked the shard bag in her haori and listened to Kagome's screams fading away with mischievous delight.

Oh, the future looked bright indeed. Sesshou did need a source of amusement other than Jaken. She was confident that the miko would not tell her brother.

When Kagome found Inuyasha, she practically tripped over him. He had left the area of their camp and was laying rather haphazardly in the middle of a field of flowers. Really, who did that? But she clung to him and he seemed clueless as to what to do with this miko from the future.

"Oh my god!" she screamed, "I just ran into Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru said he likes women for some reason," her mind corrected her… 'she likes women'… "And he"—_she_—"said who knows what he'll"—**_she'll_**—"do to me if we ever meet again! You have to protect me! You promised!"

Inuyasha blinked. "Um, you're getting me wet." He pointed out.

Kagome sobbed because she felt like it was the appropriate thing to do. After all, she just lost her first kiss, and it was so not special. "My first kiss!" Kagome cried. "Sesshoumaru took my first kiss!"

Inuyasha blinked but then let out peels of unfair laughter. "Don't you know _anything_?" Kagome had to stop sobbing to hear what Inuyasha said next. "Dogs kiss in greeting sometimes! Wahahaha! The only reason he don't do that to me, is cause I'm a guy!"

That made Kagome feel worse. "But I'm a girl!" Kagome insisted. "It's not proper!"

He had no clue why she felt it was improper. It would have been ten times less horrifying if Sesshoumaru was a _boy_ but he was a _girl_. "Waaah!"

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**ONLY TK HAS THE GUTS TO CHALLENGE THE MASSES OF WORLD-WIDE SESSHOUMARU FAN-DOM (to which she consequentially belongs). WAHAHA! (please do not attempt this at home as it may result in severe injury or death)**


	3. Part three

**Title: Sesshoumaru is really a...  
**Author: Tsubasa Kya  
_Disclaimer: I do not own "Inuyasha" or its subsequent universe. _

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Inuyasha's Sister

Three weeks were spent 'recovering' from the shock of finding out that Sesshoumaru (Sesshou?) was actually a lesbian, and a woman. That mostly meant that Kagome spent three weeks in her time hanging out at the mall with her friends, bathing for unnatural lengths of time, and reading romance novels—the equivalent of porn only in words instead of pictures.

She still couldn't believe he was a girl, or rather, she was a girl. And her lips still felt the touch of Sesshoumaru's lips even though she'd washed many times. It was completely disturbing. She'd tried a lot of things to remove the sensation from her flesh. Kissing her arm, kissing a pillow, kissing her math book, even planting a wet smooch on her little brother's cheek! Nothing worked.

But it was worse on her because Sesshoumaru had said he would be meeting her alone again and he didn't know what he'd do to her because he was attracted to females. Correction, she was attracted to females. So, Kagome blatantly refused to return to the feudal era, and Inuyasha came daily to try to convince her to return.

It was a good thing grandpa was around twenty-four hours a day, she thought. Inuyasha was more afraid of grandpa's glue papers than any real sutras or ofudas. If grandpa hadn't been around, Kagome would have been kidnapped—literally—and dragged forcibly through the well.

But, as all things are apt to do eventually, Inuyasha's patience ran short. He was finding it tougher to locate shards without Kagome's help. So, dressed rather inconspicuously in what would have been a discrete disguise if he were in _his_ time, he followed Kagome to school, fully intent on stealing her away.

Unfortunately, he misjudged Kagome's intelligence and she found him within five minutes of the shrine. "Inu-ya-sha," she said warningly, sending him a glare that would have petrified him if it weren't so comical.

"Ka-go-me?" he said, mimicking her tone. That appeared to be the wrong thing to do.

"Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit," she said. She turned to walk away, shouting 'sit' with each step she took, leaving him in an unnatural man-shaped hole in the ground.

Once he had recovered, however, he managed to sniff her out and decided he needed a new plan of action. Somehow he would have to render her unconscious or make it so she couldn't speak at least. He recalled the bandana she had him wear and decided to make it a gag.

He caught her in the middle of 'gym' class (a silly activity where a bunch of kids ran around uselessly on a round paved path). She was just about to yell the subjugation command, so he shoved the bandana in her mouth. That also did not work as well as he'd expected it would, since she just spat it out.

So he went right to his last resort: he kissed her. He'd rather kiss her than be subjugated. Of course, this sent her into tears and he had to run away before her friends noticed him.

As he left her, she was crying, 'No one respects the kiss anymore!' And she said a few things about 'special' and 'the one'. Whatever all that meant. But Inuyasha simply had to get her back. So he set about devising a clever way to get Kagome through the well. It involved several pounds of mutilated cow, swamp water, three man-eating swamp-fish, and her bathtub, but once she got home from school she was all too willing to go with him.

He grinned at his genius as he took her through the well.

Kagome, on the other hand, was furious. Someone had messed with her bathtub. They would pay for that offense. Of course, she was still rather frustrated with Inuyasha just randomly kissing her, but it was a minor offense compared to her bath.

Inuyasha had said some demon came from the other side of the well and did it while Kagome's mom and grandpa were out grocery shopping. She thanked the heavens and anyone who would listen to her that Bouyou was still alive. But she had every intention on making that demon pay.

Out of curiosity, she asked Inuyasha, "Did you get a good look at the guy?"

Inuyasha nodded sagely. "Of course! It was Sesshoumaru!" he said.

This sent Kagome into a furious rage. "Sesshoumaru!" she shouted in annoyance. Half of Kaede's village shifted uncomfortably. Inuyasha wondered if he should have picked some other random name to point the finger at.

But by the time she was done dwelling on her outrage, he was able to suggest leaving the village and finding more shards. At that time, she began searching frantically on her body for something—two guesses was all he needed. "You lost the shards?!" he demanded.

"I-I had them! I did!" Kagome yelled in panic.

Then for some very awkward reason, her lips remembered the feel of Sesshoumaru's…and her hand remembered feeling something being sneakily tugged out of it. 'Sesshoumaru freaking stole them from me!' she berated herself mentally. 'When he—SHE—kissed me.'

"Yeah, you had them and lost them!" Inuyasha scowled. "Next time, I'll hang on to them!" He left her behind in the village and she raced after him, apologizing for losing the shards. She wasn't about to tell him that Sesshoumaru had them, because of the small fact that the bathtub incident made Kagome want to kill Sesshoumaru herself.

So they spent the next week searching for shards and managed to get a hold of one from some insane, power hungry demon. Inuyasha held good to his promise of hanging onto the shards after that. And a few days later, they met a young fox-demon who (coincidentally or not) stole the shard from Inuyasha and thus began a two-day chase that ended with achieving several more shards from two dead thunder brothers and a new companion named Shippou, who Inuyasha constantly argued with.

It wasn't long after that when Kagome was bathing in a hot spring, pondering the things that had happened to her in just a few short weeks. There she was, a fifteen year old who time traveled. It seemed so weird.

Because she was so lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the arrival of a certain tall, silver haired character, or notice as that very character carefully took off their clothes and entered the hot spring.

As Sesshou watched the young miko, she couldn't keep back a grin. Inuyasha was currently napping, and completely unaware that Sesshou was so dangerously close to Kagome. The fox-boy was in Inuyasha's campsite, doodling on Inuyasha's face—proving that Inuyasha was a heavy sleeper.

And the miko herself, naked on the other side of the hot spring (and not a half-bad sight for a mere human, Sesshou admitted), was still miraculously unaware that Sesshou was slowly moving toward her in the water, like a predator circling its prey. And then Sesshou was in front of Kagome, and the human's eyes went wide with recognition. She opened her mouth to scream but Sesshou was prepared.

She fisted her hand in Kagome's hair and pressed her lips to the other woman's. Kagome's scream came out muffled and she struggled to get away, but Sesshou pressed the woman against the bank, kissing her until her eyes became lidded with a look of submission. Sesshou knew it had only been a matter of time. She was a master at such things… she'd had more practice at it than high-class whores. She could bend any woman to her will.

That was half of the problem… Sesshou had no interest in men. The other half was simply due to that small fact that Sesshou had fooled an entire kingdom into believing she was male so that her bastard brother would not take the throne. Since no one had ever been aware of Sesshou's gender problem except her mother and father, it worked rather well considering both parties were dead, and Sesshou's mother had killed the nurse-maids who gave birth to Sesshou.

Only when she was sure Kagome would not scream again did Sesshou back away. She remained with her body pressed flush against Kagome's, her unbound breasts touching Kagome's. She should have killed Kagome weeks ago when she first found out, even though it was an accident, but she'd been bored of Jaken and Kagome seemed interesting at least a little.

So, Kagome was to be Sesshou's new source of amusement.

Kagome was finally able to shake her daze and her lips flapped uselessly as she tried to figure out what to say to Sesshoumaru first. The demon(ess)'s body was pressed against her own, making Kagome a little uncomfortable. Okay, more than uncomfortable. But it was more situation-related, she supposed. If it had been a boy, she would have been flustered, but probably not too bothered.

At last Kagome managed to squeak her dismay, "Eep! Let me go," she breathed, barely loud enough for even Sesshoumaru's advanced hearing. Still, he did hear it, and… SHE heard it, and SHE laughed quietly over Kagome's situation.

"But you liked it," Sesshou pointed out, her voice still strangely masculine. That voice seemed only to serve the purpose of confusing Kagome even more because how could someone with such a feminine body sound so male? To prove his point, he—_she_—kissed Kagome again and unfortunately for the fifteen year old human girl, her body reacted against her mind's will.

'Stop reacting!' she demanded of herself, her face flushed as Sesshoumaru backed off in the water, clearly to begin washing him…herself. "Why the hell do you keep kissing me?!" she demanded of the other female.

Sesshoumaru chuckled, tilting his head back in the water to wet it. As he surfaced, water slid down…As _she,_ he was a _she!_ And she had to remember that, surfaced, water slid down her body, glistening by the light of the sunset.

"I told you already," Sesshou said. "I'm attracted to females, and you're quite honestly the best looking one I've seen in about three years. I'd love to do far more, but Inuyasha is too close and I can't risk him finding out I'm a girl."

The answer generated only more questions in Kagome's mind and she desired to know more about the creature before her, but his answer also made Kagome hesitant to even speak to the other female. 'What kind of things?' she wondered. Of course, right after that, she wanted to know, "Why can't Inuyasha know?"

Sesshou grinned predatorily, "I did say I would answer _one_ question of yours, did I not?" Kagome nodded, expecting an answer to her question. "And did I not tell you why I kiss you?" Kagome blanched. She had wasted her one question. Damn! "Now, tell me how you met Inuyasha, or I will kill you."

'Stupid, arrogant bastard probably could do it too, before I can scream for Inuyasha. Dang it, that guy's a heavy sleeper!' Kagome thought. She'd found that out two days earlier when Shippou had colored on Inuyasha's sleeping face and the hanyou had not noticed.

So she did as she was told, preferring life over death. Sesshoumaru did seem a man…woman of her word. Of course, she managed to get in a few grumbled comments that were rather negative in her narrative, and those comments were directed at Sesshoumaru, but the other female didn't rise to them.

After Kagome had told Sesshoumaru about finding Inuyasha pinned to the tree—she did leave out the fact that she'd time-traveled to find the tree—and then told Sesshoumaru about how Inuyasha killed the centipede demon, then proceeded to try to kill Kagome (at which point she couldn't resist telling all about the subjugation necklace and that got Sesshoumaru laughing quietly), the two of them had finished bathing. Kagome dressed herself again and left Sesshoumaru to struggle one-handed with his breast-band.

She was surprised Sesshoumaru let her go, but of course by the time she got back to their camp, she remembered Sesshoumaru had her jewel shards and had destroyed her bath, and her angry aura was enough to wake even Inuyasha.

"SESSHOUMARUUUU!" she screamed, startling both the hanyou and the kitsune. She went racing back to the hot spring, but he was gone. 'I'll get those back from you,' she promised silently. 'Next time, I'm going to get those back, I don't care what I have to do! I'll get those back, and have revenge for my tub!'

Sesshou, on the other hand, had barely managed to leave the clearing before Kagome came rushing back. She grinned as Kagome screamed her name, and a great deal of perverted thoughts came rushing through Sesshou's mind involving Kagome and Sesshou's name.

The demoness could hardly wait for their next encounter, but knew it couldn't be too soon especially since Inuyasha was sniffing Kagome and demanding (in a very loud voice that Sesshou could hear) why the miko smelled like his 'brother'. Of course Inuyasha would be dense enough not to realize the miko smelled like Sesshou due to the fact that Sesshou had just been rubbing herself against the girl.

Oh, yes, Sesshou had chosen a very amusing toy this time. Too bad she always ended up killing her toys, because they always got it in their heads that they could blackmail her into a more 'permanent' position by Sesshou's side.

* * *

**ONLY TK HAS THE GUTS TO CHALLENGE THE MASSES OF WORLD-WIDE SESSHOUMARU FAN-DOM (to which she consequentially belongs). WAHAHA! (please do not attempt this at home as it may result in severe injury or death)**


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